What’s the Back Story? (Walking Partners Series Continued)

Sometimes we hear a story that initially sounds unremarkable. But then we hear what is behind the story and it gives insight that changes our appreciation for what we first heard. A reflective reading about a paralyzed man in scripture once brought about a change in perspective like that for our family. For Larry and I, it was the birth of our thinking about who our Walking Partners are and what they mean to us.

In short form, here’s the Bible’s recount of what happened to the paralyzed man:

Some men came, bringing to (Jesus) a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” MARK 2:3-5

What Larry and I used to remember most about this situation is that the man was physically healed (recorded later in verse 12) while Jesus claimed and proved to be God by also forgiving him. The central message of the story seemed clear, but we discovered there is so much more to be learned from this man’s experience. Reflecting on the back story deepened our faith and opened our eyes to a better way to live.

Consider this: a man’s life was forever transformed (inside and out) because there were friends who brought him to Jesus. His friends didn’t stop short at simply meeting his practical needs. They tore through somebody’s roof to get their friend in front of Jesus where more, so much more, was accomplished. Not only was the paralyzed man healed, he was saved from his sins and would spend eternity with God. To top it all off, many others witnessed it and glorified God.

I often wonder: Did this man ask his friends to take him to Jesus or did they initiate the journey with an offer to come pick him up after lunch? Did the man go willingly or did his friends have to urge him, prod him or just take up the corners of his mat saying, “You may not like it, but we’re going and you can’t do thing one about it!”

I’m glad I don’t know those details of this situation because it leaves all the options open. I’m stretched to consider many ways of walking in friendship that can be eternally meaningful — things like being willing to ask for help, initiating support even when it may not be welcomed, sacrificially giving my time, enthusiastically and tenaciously sharing my faith.

In the mid 1990s, Larry and I went through a storm in our marriage. Our small group of Bible Study friends and two Christian temperament counselors were instrumental in walking us back to a strong relationship with each other and into much deeper intimacy with our Savior Jesus Christ.

A few years later, after Carly was diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome in 2000, we had friends who helped us in several practical ways (probably not unlike the friends of the paralyzed man who helped meet many of his daily needs in addition to carrying his mat from time to time). But even more valuable than supporting practical needs, we had friends who came alongside of us in grief and confusion with prayer and Christ-centered encouragement. They helped us gain insight into what God’s purposes might be in our challenges. They took us to the feet of Jesus where the deepest longings of our hearts could be fully satisfied and things of eternal value could be birthed out of our suffering.

For all the support we have received, sometimes people have let us down too. We have been disappointed many times over the years when even close friends or family seemed to forget us. But even then, there were others who helped bring our focus back where it belonged — on our infinitely perfect Heavenly Father rather than on imperfect people who will always fall short. If the world could meet all of our needs, we would forget how desperately we need God. The best Walking Partners compassionately remind us of that.

LORD, I realize there is too much at stake to miss any opportunity to build friendships like this into my life. Help me to be strategic in developing Christ-centered friendships. Show me how to give and receive the kind of friendship that bears fruit of eternal value. AMEN

It's "Marriage Prayer Friday!"

We pray weekly here for marriages to be refreshed, renewed, healed, restored and thriving. Being that today is also Good Friday, we are focusing on the crosses we bear in marriage.

A prayer for your own marriage—

HOLY GOD, I am gripped on this Good Friday by the profound reality of who You are and the deep things I can learn from what happened at the cross. When I slow down to reflect on the enormity of the burden you bore for me and the infinite love you extend to me, I am compelled to better reflect that kind of love to my spouse. Show me how to express love towards my husband/wife the way Christ did for the Church. Help me to more gracefully receive my spouses’ imperfect but heartfelt expressions of love toward me. As our family celebrates Easter this weekend, show me how I can lighten a burden for my husband/wife the way Simon shared the load of Christ’s cross when it got too heavy to carry alone. Thank You, Jesus, for the hope and power of Easter! Please bring that same holy intervention into the “crosses” my family is bearing today. Help me never to forget that there is power in the blood! AMEN

Something to pray for a friend's marriage—

HOLY GOD, I am gripped on this Good Friday by the profound reality of who You are and the deep things I can learn from what happened at the cross. As I reflect on the enormity of the burden you bore and the infinite love you extend to me, I am compelled to share that with others I love. Specifically, I want to pray right now for the married couples I know. Many of them are struggling with burdens and are still learning how to love each other well. Show them how to express love towards each other the way You did for Your Church. Help them to more gracefully receive each other's imperfect but heartfelt expressions of love. As my friends celebrate Easter this weekend, show them how they can lighten a burden for each other the way Simon shared the load of Christ’s cross when it got too heavy to carry alone. Thank You, Jesus, for the hope and power of Easter! Please bring that same holy intervention into the “crosses” my friends are bearing today. Help them never to forget that there is power in the blood! AMEN

What Picture are We Painting for Kids?

Last fall I read two different blogs giving the same quote from William Farley's Gospel-Powered Parenting. That quote stirred me on multiple levels. I wanted to read the whole book but held off starting until I was finished with the 90-day Bible reading plan I started in January. Before I go on to share the quote, let me just give a huge shout-out to reading God's Word and doing it on a fast track some day soon. It was really challenging sometimes, but I stayed mostly on course (finished in 95 days) and have been profoundly stretched and strengthened. I'm still processing and have some plans for what to do next but let me just say, "extraordinary experience!"

Larry and I believe the perspective that "marriage preaches" is a tremendously valuable one. It has implications for the health of marriages, the aspirations of our children, the purity of our teenagers, the strength of the Church, and more.

Even if you only read the last paragraph, it may affect your priorities and change the course of a child's life. As we paint for our children a compelling picture of marriage and give them something to aspire to, it has the power to influence their choices about purity, their own future marriage, and even their relationship with God. If what our kids see is a boring, stressful or grueling experience of marriage, it may inadvertently spur them to "live it up" while they're young rather than hold out for God's best.

Read the quote for yourself and let us know how it inspires you!

"This mystery (marriage) is profound, and I am saying that it refers to the Christ and the church." Here is Paul's point. From before time began, God had marriage on his mind. He was preparing a bride for his Son, whom he would marry forever. It would take the crucifixion and resurrection of the Groom to bring this marriage to pass. Think of it. God created the most intimate human relationship, marriage, to speak of the intimacy of his relationship with his church.

God created the institution of human marriage to reflect, or mirror forth, this eternal union. In other words, human marriage exists to point men and angels to the eternal marriage of Christ and his church. The gospel made this divine marriage possible. Here is our point: human marriage exists to preach the gospel. It exists to illustrate the fruit that should follow the preaching of the gospel in the church.

To whom does our marriage preach? Of course, the first audience is God and his angels. They watch and rejoice, or if your marriage is a war zone, they grieve.

Who is the second audience? Most of us think first about our non-Christian neighbors. Maybe they will see our attempts to model Christian marriage and want the gospel? They might, and we hope they will, but actually they are the third audience.

The second audience, usually overlooked by most Christians, is our children. What is our marriage telling them about Christ and his bride? They see it all. They hear our fights. They absorb our attitudes. They know who or what really sits on the throne of our lives. They watch how we handle resentment. They hear the way we talk to each other. They know when we hear the Sunday sermon and apply it. They also know when we ignore it.

The message that our marriage preaches either repels or attracts our children. God wants your child to watch your marriage and think, "I want a marriage like that, and I want the God that produced it." Or, "When I think of the beauty of the gospel, I think of my parents' marriage. I want to be part of a church that is loved by God the way my dad loves my mother. I want to be part of a church that finds its joy in submitting to Christ as my mother joyfully submits to my father."

I pray that reading this quote heaps no guilt or sorrow for those struggling mightily in a marriage. I simply pray that it reminds all of us that the battle for a thriving marriage is POSSIBLE and WORTH IT.

Right now, while the week is young, is a great time to book a babysitter for this weekend and call it a date!