It's "Marriage Prayer Friday!"

Last week we committed to join with you every Friday in praying for marriages to be refreshed, renewed, healed, restored and thriving. Whether you are praying for your own marriage or for the relationships of others you know, we hope you appreciate the value of this frontline weaponry in the battle for strength in this sacred union.

A prayer for your own marriage—

MERCIFUL GOD, your Word tells me to ponder things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Phil 4:8). Yet I confess that, when it comes to my marriage, I am often fixated on why I feel disrespected, discouraged, irritated, misunderstood or just under-loved. Thank you that I can lay the longings of my heart openly before you but help me to share them with others more sparingly and respectfully. Please strengthen my resolve to celebrate the good things more and criticize less. Make me an encouragement to my spouse, Lord Jesus, rather than a resounding gong or clanging symbol (1 Cor. 13:1). Help me to bring more of Your Light into my marriage so that this family experiences more joy and the kind of health that flows out of a marriage anchored in the Good News (Prov. 15:30)! AMEN

Something to pray for a friend's marriage—

MERCIFUL GOD, your Word tells us to ponder things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Phil 4:8). Yet I have a friend who sometimes feels disrespected, discouraged, irritated, misunderstood or under-loved in his/her marriage, Lord. Help me to be a good listener when my friend is struggling but keep me from enabling gossip or slander. Give me courage and gentleness to point my hurting friend back to You (2 Cor. 1:3-5). Show me how to help my friend celebrate more about what is good in his/her marriage in a way that doesn’t make him/her feel like I am minimizing the pain. Let my conversation be full of grace and seasoned with the salt of Your love and wisdom so that I know how to contribute to the health and strength of the families around me (Col. 4:6). All of this is for Your glory, Lord! AMEN

Hope for A Generation Embracing Life!

Our daughter Alex is 18 today. Of course it’s a monumental moment for her and one we are celebrating as parents too. Yes, it’s a little scary to think about sending her out into the world as an adult but that’s not because we don’t trust Alex. It is because we know how dangerous and painful the world can be.

People often ask us how our older girls have handled being siblings to Carly (12) whose life with disability has consumed so much attention from us and others. While we know we cannot predict what might come out in counseling when she’s 32, Larry and I have always felt a tremendous sense of privilege about raising Alex. Yes, there have been tears over pulled hair and occasional resentment about our “high maintenance life,” but Alex and Erin (who is almost 16) have embraced their sister and their lives in this family with gratitude, hope and vision.

Today, Alex is a young woman who is contagiously influencing her world in many positive ways. In fact, her growing vision for community service was a factor in her college selection for next fall.

As I take this day (and Blog space) to indulge in celebrating Alex, I hope this can be more than a mom’s nostalgic and grateful ponderings. I hope young families enduring the moment-to-moment pressures of raising their children might be reassured that our young people can grow up joyful, strong and influential leaders despite the enormous burdens that having a handicapped sibling can bring.

Alex is a well-rounded young woman who has actively engaged in her academics, athletics, the arts and her faith. From National Honor Society and competitive soccer to school and community theatre productions, band, choir, church worship leading and Bible study, Alex has maintained valued friendships and learned to keep balance even with a very busy schedule.

Alex may be best known for her enthusiastic, positive attitude and love for learning. In 9^th grade she was honored with the District Award for “Taking Responsibility for Your Own Learning.” She also has a reputation for being well organized that started when she was only nine months old — she arranged magnetic alphabet letters in color categories on the refrigerator door. This still cracks me up today. She even taught herself to ride a unicycle!

Given that her youngest sister Carly has Angelman Syndrome and many special needs, Alex has grown up in a home environment that has often been physically demanding and emotionally stressful. Nonetheless, she has allowed these circumstances to stretch her. She was only 6 years old when she enthusiastically started helping with Carly’s therapies. Carly’s unexpected progress has come, in part, because her sisters were supportive, creative and persistent.

As a teenager, Alex began working a few hours each week providing respite care. It’s a challenging role to function in your own home with the same expectations given to other staff. Nonetheless, she's appreciated the opportunity and pressed on despite circumstances that were often more than frustrating.

Alex is a deeply sensitive young woman who shows great respect and compassion towards people with disabilities but, more than that, she appreciates individuals for their character and personality without being distracted or intimidated by any physical or cognitive challenges they may have. On a number of occasions throughout her school years, Alex has befriended students with special needs and even helped them in practical ways through their limitations. That kind of respect and inclusiveness comes so naturally to her that she will be a bit offended to see I’ve taken note of it here. Isn’t that the kind of generation we want to see leading the future for families experiencing disabilities — a generation that takes for granted that people with special needs are integral to a life that thrives!

Several years ago I framed a photo of each of my children and hand painted a Bible verse on the matte. I tried to select a verse that I felt reflected some fundamental characteristic about each one of them individually. I am so grateful to see daily evidence of how this verse describes Alex:

My heart, O God, is steadfast; I will sing and make music with all my soul. PSALM 108:1

Thank you, Jesus.

Happy Birthday, Alex!

We love you,

Mom & Dad

Introducing "Marriage Prayer Friday!"

Marriage is one of life's most thrilling and challenging relationships. It has enormous potential to bring deep satisfaction and joy for individuals while influencing a culture and world in gorgeous ways. On the other hand, a marriage in breakdown brings greater heartbreak than few other things do.

The number of couples in crisis is reaching tragic proportions. It seems like someone needs to sound an alarm and give a shout out for being PROACTIVE in the marriage relationship. Each of our marriages is vulnerable because the temptations are many, the battle is long, encouragement is sparse, accountability from others is shy, and recognition that God can fix ANYTHING is often based on shaky belief.

Starting today, we want to join with you every Friday in praying for marriages. Larry and I believe prayer is the first and most powerful step that any of us can take if we want to be proactive about strong marriages. Why Fridays? Because, in most of our homes, spouses are separated for many hours during the weekdays but have more time together on the weekend — for better or for worse.

So whether you are praying for your own marriage or for the relationships of others you know, let's hook arms and band together with superior weaponry in the battle for marriages to be refreshed, renewed, healed, restored and thriving!

ALMIGHTY GOD, You have the power to intervene on any journey through strain and storms like disability, chronic illness, financial insecurity, grief over loss, infidelity, and addiction. Renew my confidence that You can overcome the most hopeless situations (mine or someone else's) and bring unexpected joy.

Open my eyes to see what is good in my marriage and celebrate it out loud. Give me insights about how to respond positively and constructively where things are broken. Help me and my spouse to extend Your pure grace to one another — over and over again. Help me to support this in the marriages around me as well.

Lord, please cause my marriage to be an example to others (especially children, mine and others) of Your enduring love. Even when things in my marriage are not well, God, please use hardship to turn each person in my family toward You rather than away.

Thank you, Jesus, that I am Your child before I am anything else. I am not defined by my role as husband, wife, parent, son, daughter, illness, weakness, addiction, shame, hurts, career, or obstacle I may be facing. Help me to keep my eyes fixed on You who, with joy set before You, endured the cross, scorned its shame, and finished the race victoriously by keeping Your vision on the eternal perspectives of Your Heavenly Father.

Put Your grace and joy in my heart, Lord, and let it spill out on my spouse this weekend!

AMEN