Monday, April 18, 2011

What Picture are We Painting for Kids?

Last fall I read two different blogs giving the same quote from William Farley's Gospel-Powered Parenting. That quote stirred me on multiple levels. I wanted to read the whole book but held off starting until I was finished with the 90-day Bible reading plan I started in January. Before I go on to share the quote, let me just give a huge shout-out to reading God's Word and doing it on a fast track some day soon. It was really challenging sometimes, but I stayed mostly on course (finished in 95 days) and have been profoundly stretched and strengthened. I'm still processing and have some plans for what to do next but let me just say, "extraordinary experience!"

Larry and I believe the perspective that "marriage preaches" is a tremendously valuable one. It has implications for the health of marriages, the aspirations of our children, the purity of our teenagers, the strength of the Church, and more.

Even if you only read the last paragraph, it may affect your priorities and change the course of a child's life. As we paint for our children a compelling picture of marriage and give them something to aspire to, it has the power to influence their choices about purity, their own future marriage, and even their relationship with God. If what our kids see is a boring, stressful or grueling experience of marriage, it may inadvertently spur them to "live it up" while they're young rather than hold out for God's best.

Read the quote for yourself and let us know how it inspires you!
"This mystery (marriage) is profound, and I am saying that it refers to the Christ and the church." Here is Paul's point. From before time began, God had marriage on his mind. He was preparing a bride for his Son, whom he would marry forever. It would take the crucifixion and resurrection of the Groom to bring this marriage to pass. Think of it. God created the most intimate human relationship, marriage, to speak of the intimacy of his relationship with his church.

God created the institution of human marriage to reflect, or mirror forth, this eternal union. In other words, human marriage exists to point men and angels to the eternal marriage of Christ and his church. The gospel made this divine marriage possible. Here is our point: human marriage exists to preach the gospel. It exists to illustrate the fruit that should follow the preaching of the gospel in the church.

To whom does our marriage preach? Of course, the first audience is God and his angels. They watch and rejoice, or if your marriage is a war zone, they grieve.

Who is the second audience? Most of us think first about our non-Christian neighbors. Maybe they will see our attempts to model Christian marriage and want the gospel? They might, and we hope they will, but actually they are the third audience.

The second audience, usually overlooked by most Christians, is our children. What is our marriage telling them about Christ and his bride? They see it all. They hear our fights. They absorb our attitudes. They know who or what really sits on the throne of our lives. They watch how we handle resentment. They hear the way we talk to each other. They know when we hear the Sunday sermon and apply it. They also know when we ignore it.

The message that our marriage preaches either repels or attracts our children. God wants your child to watch your marriage and think, "I want a marriage like that, and I want the God that produced it." Or, "When I think of the beauty of the gospel, I think of my parents' marriage. I want to be part of a church that is loved by God the way my dad loves my mother. I want to be part of a church that finds its joy in submitting to Christ as my mother joyfully submits to my father."
I pray that reading this quote heaps no guilt or sorrow for those struggling mightily in a marriage. I simply pray that it reminds all of us that the battle for a thriving marriage is POSSIBLE and WORTH IT.

Right now, while the week is young, is a great time to book a babysitter for this weekend and call it a date!

Friday, April 15, 2011

It's "Marriage Prayer Friday!"

Once again, we are praying for marriages to be refreshed, renewed, healed, restored and thriving. Whether you are praying for your own marriage or standing in the gap for a friend, thank you for joining us in seeking the Lord for the protection and fruitfulness of this sacred union.

A prayer for your own marriage—
GRACIOUS GOD, thank you for being compassionate and affectionate, slow to anger and rich in love. Help me to be like that, especially towards my spouse. I know that my husband/wife needs to know that I prefer him/her to any other man/woman. Bring to my mind things that I can be genuinely thankful for in my spouse. Show me how to express sincere and frequent respect and affection in ways that are particularly meaningful for him/her. Empower me to genuinely affirm my husband/wife in front of others too. Please decrease those negative, critical or unhealthy thoughts I have about him/her and
increase my awareness of ways to bless my him/her. All good gifts come from You, God, and all good things can be accomplished through Your Spirit in me. Please fill me and equip me for every good work, for the glory of Your name! Thank you, Jesus.
AMEN

Something to pray for a friend's marriage—
GRACIOUS GOD, thank you for being compassionate and affectionate, slow to anger and rich in love. Help me to be like that. Help me to be an encouragement to my married friends so they, too, can be like that, especially toward their spouses. Remind them of the reasons why they prefer each other to anyone else. Bring to their minds the things that they can be genuinely thankful for in each other. Show them how to express sincere and frequent respect and affection in ways that are particularly meaningful for one another. Empower them to genuinely affirm each other in front of others too. Please decrease their negative, critical or unhealthy thoughts about each other and
increase their awareness of ways to bless each other. All good gifts come from You, God, and all good things can be accomplished through Your Spirit in us. Please fill and equip my married friends for every good work in their marriages, for the glory of Your name! Thank you, Jesus.
AMEN

Monday, April 11, 2011

Are You Tired of Waiting?

I am a driven and impatient person who has been stretched in recent years to surrender my desires about the timing of things to God’s ever-wise timing. This does not come easily for me. I don’t like it when God seems mysterious or slow to respond — well, except for when He’s slow to get impatient with me.

Here’s are just a few of those things for which I’m waiting:

  • Waiting for Carly to hit a new developmental milestone (she is our 12 year old daughter who has Angelman Syndrome)
  • Waiting for educators in this country to awaken to more effective ways of teaching children with special needs
  • Waiting for churches to respond more generously and Biblically to the needs of families facing disability
  • Waiting for God to open doors for Larry to a new job (my husband has been laid off since 9/7/10)
  • Waiting for a business goal to be accomplished and new ministry doors to open
  • Waiting for resolution to a contract issue
  • Waiting for an opportunity to do more writing and finish new books
  • Waiting for clear answers to a prayer about an area of my life where I’m confused

Last night I spoke with about 30 women at a nearby correctional facility, each waiting out a lengthy incarceration for things like drug convictions and drunk driving arrests. This week I spoke with others who are waiting for things too.

  • Waiting for healing
  • Waiting for a spouse to come to his/her senses
  • Waiting for a wayward child to come back home
  • Waiting to lose more weight
  • Waiting for encouragement amidst overwhelming circumstances

There are several reasons why waiting for God to reveal answers to my prayers is getting easier. One very gratifying reason is that I’m starting to see how profoundly God uses waiting times for HUGE things. Instead of waiting being a tedious, frustrating or worrisome experience, I’ve been noticing that God squeezes critical things out of those times. Sometimes those things are for me (lessons learned, character stretching, faith bolstering, etc.) but often there are important things coming out of my waiting times that are for the benefit of someone else entirely.

Like it or not, it’s not always about me. Actually, there’s a great freedom in knowing that when God doesn’t answer right away, it’s not always because I’m failing Him in some way. Often, God is carefully putting numerous things into place so that the answer is ultimately much more, better, or amazing than I could ever have imagined (Ephesians 3:20-21). Sometimes it even means that I might have to endure some hardship so that someone else can benefit in some way (2 Corinthians 1:3-7, Colossians 1:24). After all, Jesus endured a whole lot more. God will most certainly empower and sustain me because there are always Kingdom purposes at work (Colossians 1:11-12)!

When I look at waiting on God for answers as an adventure — a time of anticipating what incredible things God will do next — it’s more exciting and not so grueling. While none of us aspires for our life to follow the plot line of a mystery novel, I’m growing to appreciate that the best stories are complex, take time to unfold, build our confidence that adversity can be overcome and show us that the wait is worth it!

LORD, help us to catch Your vision for the value of our story in the broader Kingdom perspective. When we get impatient for Your answers or actions, help us to be confident that You are always at work in the midst of every situation — always near, forever faithful, completely sufficient to bring our stories to the best conclusions. Show us how to live so that every chapter declares Your greatness and captures the best of intimacy with You for us AND for others. AMEN

If you can take 5 minutes to prayerfully listen to this song, I believe God will have something very special for you!

“While I’m Waiting” by John Waller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y