Hope for A Generation Embracing Life!

Our daughter Alex is 18 today. Of course it’s a monumental moment for her and one we are celebrating as parents too. Yes, it’s a little scary to think about sending her out into the world as an adult but that’s not because we don’t trust Alex. It is because we know how dangerous and painful the world can be.

People often ask us how our older girls have handled being siblings to Carly (12) whose life with disability has consumed so much attention from us and others. While we know we cannot predict what might come out in counseling when she’s 32, Larry and I have always felt a tremendous sense of privilege about raising Alex. Yes, there have been tears over pulled hair and occasional resentment about our “high maintenance life,” but Alex and Erin (who is almost 16) have embraced their sister and their lives in this family with gratitude, hope and vision.

Today, Alex is a young woman who is contagiously influencing her world in many positive ways. In fact, her growing vision for community service was a factor in her college selection for next fall.

As I take this day (and Blog space) to indulge in celebrating Alex, I hope this can be more than a mom’s nostalgic and grateful ponderings. I hope young families enduring the moment-to-moment pressures of raising their children might be reassured that our young people can grow up joyful, strong and influential leaders despite the enormous burdens that having a handicapped sibling can bring.

Alex is a well-rounded young woman who has actively engaged in her academics, athletics, the arts and her faith. From National Honor Society and competitive soccer to school and community theatre productions, band, choir, church worship leading and Bible study, Alex has maintained valued friendships and learned to keep balance even with a very busy schedule.

Alex may be best known for her enthusiastic, positive attitude and love for learning. In 9^th grade she was honored with the District Award for “Taking Responsibility for Your Own Learning.” She also has a reputation for being well organized that started when she was only nine months old — she arranged magnetic alphabet letters in color categories on the refrigerator door. This still cracks me up today. She even taught herself to ride a unicycle!

Given that her youngest sister Carly has Angelman Syndrome and many special needs, Alex has grown up in a home environment that has often been physically demanding and emotionally stressful. Nonetheless, she has allowed these circumstances to stretch her. She was only 6 years old when she enthusiastically started helping with Carly’s therapies. Carly’s unexpected progress has come, in part, because her sisters were supportive, creative and persistent.

As a teenager, Alex began working a few hours each week providing respite care. It’s a challenging role to function in your own home with the same expectations given to other staff. Nonetheless, she's appreciated the opportunity and pressed on despite circumstances that were often more than frustrating.

Alex is a deeply sensitive young woman who shows great respect and compassion towards people with disabilities but, more than that, she appreciates individuals for their character and personality without being distracted or intimidated by any physical or cognitive challenges they may have. On a number of occasions throughout her school years, Alex has befriended students with special needs and even helped them in practical ways through their limitations. That kind of respect and inclusiveness comes so naturally to her that she will be a bit offended to see I’ve taken note of it here. Isn’t that the kind of generation we want to see leading the future for families experiencing disabilities — a generation that takes for granted that people with special needs are integral to a life that thrives!

Several years ago I framed a photo of each of my children and hand painted a Bible verse on the matte. I tried to select a verse that I felt reflected some fundamental characteristic about each one of them individually. I am so grateful to see daily evidence of how this verse describes Alex:

My heart, O God, is steadfast; I will sing and make music with all my soul. PSALM 108:1

Thank you, Jesus.

Happy Birthday, Alex!

We love you,

Mom & Dad

Introducing "Marriage Prayer Friday!"

Marriage is one of life's most thrilling and challenging relationships. It has enormous potential to bring deep satisfaction and joy for individuals while influencing a culture and world in gorgeous ways. On the other hand, a marriage in breakdown brings greater heartbreak than few other things do.

The number of couples in crisis is reaching tragic proportions. It seems like someone needs to sound an alarm and give a shout out for being PROACTIVE in the marriage relationship. Each of our marriages is vulnerable because the temptations are many, the battle is long, encouragement is sparse, accountability from others is shy, and recognition that God can fix ANYTHING is often based on shaky belief.

Starting today, we want to join with you every Friday in praying for marriages. Larry and I believe prayer is the first and most powerful step that any of us can take if we want to be proactive about strong marriages. Why Fridays? Because, in most of our homes, spouses are separated for many hours during the weekdays but have more time together on the weekend — for better or for worse.

So whether you are praying for your own marriage or for the relationships of others you know, let's hook arms and band together with superior weaponry in the battle for marriages to be refreshed, renewed, healed, restored and thriving!

ALMIGHTY GOD, You have the power to intervene on any journey through strain and storms like disability, chronic illness, financial insecurity, grief over loss, infidelity, and addiction. Renew my confidence that You can overcome the most hopeless situations (mine or someone else's) and bring unexpected joy.

Open my eyes to see what is good in my marriage and celebrate it out loud. Give me insights about how to respond positively and constructively where things are broken. Help me and my spouse to extend Your pure grace to one another — over and over again. Help me to support this in the marriages around me as well.

Lord, please cause my marriage to be an example to others (especially children, mine and others) of Your enduring love. Even when things in my marriage are not well, God, please use hardship to turn each person in my family toward You rather than away.

Thank you, Jesus, that I am Your child before I am anything else. I am not defined by my role as husband, wife, parent, son, daughter, illness, weakness, addiction, shame, hurts, career, or obstacle I may be facing. Help me to keep my eyes fixed on You who, with joy set before You, endured the cross, scorned its shame, and finished the race victoriously by keeping Your vision on the eternal perspectives of Your Heavenly Father.

Put Your grace and joy in my heart, Lord, and let it spill out on my spouse this weekend!

AMEN

Who Are Your Walking Partners?

Minnesota winters require creativity if you like to keep fit by walking. Locally, we're fortunate to have a dome-covered soccer field with a walking track around it where I regularly meet friends to catch up on life. It's a terrific way to multi-task. I am so thankful for the exercise but even more appreciative of the conversation. These are times of mutual encouragement, reflection, shared insights, and even prayer.

My experience with “walking partners” is both literal and metaphorical. Often these friends help me stay spiritually fit and challenge me to grow. Throughout my life, I’ve been fortunate to have friends who were like disciples to me. They persistently helped keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. Whether they sent a timely email, prayed with me on the telephone, chatted on a soccer sideline or listened from a chair on a dock at the cabin, these precious women have carried me to Jesus through good times and bad.

Friendship is one of life’s greatest gifts. Having a trusted and encouraging friend to confide in during a time of crisis is particularly valuable. Yet for some people in the midst of challenges, the sense of loneliness and isolation can feel more overwhelming than the crisis itself. Sometimes we just need to talk with someone who “gets it.”

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Larry and I are strongly in favor of seeking professional Christian counseling, particularly in the face of challenges such as grief or loss, disability, chronic/terminal illness, strained marriage, and addiction. We ourselves have benefited tremendously from Christian temperament counseling and 12 Step-style Bible study groups. Yet we also believe that professional counselors would be needed in far fewer circumstances if more Christians lived out their calling to be disciples — in a lifestyle of walking shoulder-to-shoulder with one another listening, encouraging, exhorting and empowering in relationships where Christ is central to the conversation.

What kind of Walking Partner are you?

Do you need to be more intentional about developing these mutually-discipling kinds of relationships in your life?

When we started Walk Right In Ministries, we were acutely aware of this deep and broad need around the world — an even more critical need when people are facing adversity. We wanted to support people in getting connected with others who had “been in their shoes” but would do more than just empathize. Today our goal remains the same: to ensure you are connected with others who will pray with you and encourage you in your walk with God. We call friends like that “Walking Partners.”

A Walking Partner is someone who will cheer you on while helping you maintain a clear plum line against which to measure your relationships, choices, goals and dreams. You can get “social networking” and good mentoring in lots of places but a biblical, disciple-growing kind of friendship like this is soul-reaching and can change your life for eternity. Walking Partners celebrate the Living God and will respectfully and lovingly share Him.

LORD, please teach me how to be this kind of friend. Help me find and connect with others who will be Walking Partners with me for Your glory. Starting this week, help me to be more aware and intentional about making You a central part of my relationships so that anything I have to offer my friendships is not dependent on ME but flows out of YOUR love, truth, hope, and comfort. AMEN

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17

“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:16-17

Watch for upcoming posts about Walking Partners! We'll explore these questions and more:

• What are the qualities of a Walking Partner according to the Bible?
• Who are our Biblical models for being good Walking Partners?
• How many Walking Partners should a person have?
• What are the "Do's" and "Don'ts" of being a good Walking Partner?
• What does a good Walking Partner look like today?