Selective Sharing

A few months ago, I posted this statement on Facebook:

"I don't believe it can be overstated how stressful and wearying it is being the parent of someone with significant developmental and medical needs. There is also unspeakable joy. But make no mistake that this life is OFTEN more than overwhelming. I speak for my own family and many others when I ask you to pray hard and regularly for anyone you know living this life. We need your persevering friendship and sometimes help. We wish we didn't need help, and very often we don't even know what to ask for. But we can't do this alone. Practical, emotional and spiritual encouragement is a gust of wind in our sails."

This got a reaction. Most people who responded were caregivers themselves. They resonated deeply with the sentiments I expressed. The rest of those who responded were encouraging friends whose comments usually indicated that they were praying for me. I was grateful for the prayers but even more moved by the hunger among caregivers to feel NOTICED and HEARD.

Since so many caregivers practically begged me to get this word about their (our) chronic stress out more broadly (on their behalf), I posted again the next day with a very personal and rather lengthy explanation about my own chronic stress and why I talk about it the way I do.  I wasn't expecting to post it yet again on my blog but subsequent conversations suggest it deserves one more share. So here goes...

WHY DO I SHARE WHAT I DO, WHEN I DO (AND WHEN I DON’T, WHY I DON’T)?

There are a variety of reactions I encounter whenever I talk about how chronic stress is affecting my family and others in intense or complicated, often long-term circumstances. 

SHOCK
WORRY
APATHY
DEFENSIVENESS
RESONANCE/APPRECIATION

Obviously, not every reaction is helpful to a family like ours. But trust me, I understand most people are well-meaning and I’m very hesitant to criticize any reaction — I mostly appreciate ANY reaction (except apathy). Larry and I don’t expect perfection in understanding but we do hope people at least care and try. And we hope people won’t over-simplify what we are experiencing. That feels like invalidation of something that is very big and very real for us.

Some people want to better understand this so I’m going to try and explain more about it today and I’m going to be pretty transparent. I know that I’ll be articulating perspectives that are not just my own because I’ve had emotional discussions with others about this very issue, one as recently as this morning when a friend called me from another state about the post I shared yesterday. Yup. This hit some nerves.

When we don’t talk about our challenges very often, it is not uncommon for people to think that all is well. Some others who have some idea that life is ALWAYS hard over here at the Jamiesons think we are just trying to keep a “stiff upper lip” or are wanting to be self-sufficient in our challenges. Some people believe we are trying to be “missional” in an effort to “look” put together with the power of God. Seriously, we’re not trying to hide anything or even prove to anybody that “God’s got this.” 

Don’t get me wrong, I certainly hope my life points people to Jesus and shows that God is fully able, accessible and worthy to be praised. Because He most certainly is. I don’t know how anybody lives through a crisis like this without a relationship with Jesus Christ. But that’s not what underlies my philosophy (or for lack of better word, strategy) for deciding when and how to share the inner realities of my situation. Of course we hope people will somehow see Jesus in us — whether through how He meets us in our challenges or for any other reason! Don’t we all want to see evidence that the living God is real? 

But the way I express my stress publically is way more selfish than that. 

Larry and I are, first and foremost, trying to live in a way that helps us thrive as individuals, a couple and a family. In the process. We just want to live within relationships that are REAL. I gave up trying to tough things out a long time ago. I do just exactly what I have to do every day to survive and thrive. So, trying to look “good” or more “Christian” is far from the reality for me and Larry. We always want to be authentic with people and we highly value people who are willing to be real with us. In truth, there are a whole host of reasons why I talk about our specific challenges or overwhelm rather infrequently compared to how often we are actually struggling.

For today, it’s important to me that you know WHY. God seems to have prompted me to just lay it out here for whoever cares. So…in no particular order…these are just a few of the reasons why I personally don’t talk often or widely about the specifics of my personal stress…

• I’m not always in touch with the reality of how extremely stressed out I am.
• I function on autopilot a lot.
• I don’t want people feeling sorry for me. 
• I have all the same stresses everybody else does and would really like those to be recognized as part of who I am too.
• A whole lot of people would rather just believe that “it’s all good” over here. 
• Some people just want to cheer me up. 
• Some people tell me, “you deserve to feel sorry for yourself.” This isn’t helpful for me. I appreciate the attempt at empathy but I don’t believe this is right thinking and it is rarely helpful for me to go to that place.
• I spend a lot of my daily energy trying to pace my energies and emotions. That means I have to spend proportionately high amounts of time with Jesus and in prayer. Since my physical body is increasingly deteriorating due to Carly’s 24/7 cares, my age, long years without adequate sleep, etc., I have to give some priority to taking care of me as best I can (which is never really enough). I need more naps than the average person because I spend a lot of time awake at night. I need to serve others. It’s a great outlet for me — gives me a sense of purpose and keeps me from feeling consumed with my own challenges. Needless to say, all of that doesn’t leave a lot of time left over for complaining and explaining. 
• Sometimes I’m just plain tired of explaining.
• I don’t like people dismissing me as a “drama queen.”
• I get tired of feeling like I have to be one of the world’s “teachers.” 
• I weary of the disappointment of trying to build understanding and having my hopes and needs for resonance dashed when people don’t “get it.”
• I don’t want to get my hopes up that someone will care (reach out) only to be disappointed.
• When my situation is most overwhelming, I feel unable to explain my situation or emotions. My mind and heart feel too complicated to explain. So, if I feel able say anything at all, I just try to articulate even one thing I know people can pray about or help with. But that can give the impression that just one thing is weighing on me. (Yet, rest assured, whatever I am saying out loud is probably just the tip of the iceberg with lots more behind it.)
• It helps keep me out of depression and those woe-is-me places if I focus on what is going well and what I’m grateful for.
• Focusing on Carly’s strengths gives her the best shot of reaching her potential. 
• Focusing on Carly’s strengths (instead of why she’s making things hard for me) feels more respectful to her.
• Any time I talk about how hard it is caring for Carly, I risk undermining our ability to ever find or hire respite helpers (because people think they won’t be able to handle it).
• I don’t want to worry my family.
• I don’t want people to quit sharing their own concerns with me because they feel badly that their own issues may seem insignificant next to mine.
• I often feel misunderstood and since I’ve been misunderstood a lot in my life, I avoid that pain.
• I don’t want to feel analyzed.
• I get tired of talking about the same thing. Being “that person.” Sounding like a broken record.

When you boil it all down, this is probably the biggest reason why you don’t regularly hear about or see the degree of my stress:

I WANT TO LOOK AND FEEL AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE. 

I don’t want to look normal for your benefit. I want it for me. 

So even though taking a shower, fixing my hair and putting on a cute, comfy outfit to go out in public takes the alignment of stars at my house and risks masking a reality about how much I need your prayers, help and friendship — I’m going to risk it. Because for a couple of hours, I’m happy to be clean and out in a “normal” world feeling like a “normal” human being with a “normal” life. Any illusion is for me. Not for you.

And here’s one more thought for you to chew on. If I wrote about this regularly, many of you would have stopped reading my posts a long time ago. You’d be too overwhelmed, irritated, or numb. My perpetual drip of whining would wear you down and lose its oomph. (For some people, it already has. They not even curious and are no longer reading this right now.) 

So, consider this “rant” my way of trying to get your attention and urge you to remember there are friends around you struggling mightily with chronic hard stuff — whether or not they look like it or sound like it. Please don’t check out on them, whether they are good at how they handle their communication or not. (Doing this well is hard and even harder when you’re stressed out and/or sleep deprived.)

Thank you for listening.
I’ll write again soon. 

But not too soon.

NOTE: This blog is a repost from an "Open Letter" Lisa shared on Facebook in April 2017.

The 2017 Accessibility Summit in Washington, DC

Celebrating its 17th year in March 2017, the Accessibility Summit is a national conference designed to offer a broad range of information and resources to individuals, families and caregivers, faith-based organizations, educators, and other professionals impacted by disability. There will be 40 workshops and over 60 disability-related exhibitors. Saundra Adams and Joni Eareckson Tada are guest speakers.  Registration has just opened and early bird discounts and group discounts are available. 

Walk Right In Ministries is privileged to be sharing a workshop too. Larry and Lisa Jamieson have presented at the conference in years past, sometimes individually and sometimes as a couple. In 2017, Lisa will have the unique opportunity to present with their two oldest daughters, Alex and Erin. Information about their workshop is shared below for those who have interest and for those who are willing to pray for us. (We are very grateful for your prayers!) Check the Summit website for a complete listing of workshops, exhibitors and speakers.

PARENTING SPECIAL SIBLINGSThis interactive session opens a dialogue about the challenges, disappointments, advantages and opportunities of being a sibling in a family affected by disability. It is led by Lisa Jamieson, the mother of three adult children and author of Finding Glory in the Thorns. Lisa is joined by her adult daughters Alex and Erin who share candid perspectives about growing up with a sibling who has Angelman Syndrome which involves chronic health issues and severe developmental disabilities. Discussion topics will include sibling conflict, balancing attention, grief processing, dealing with social stigmas and misunderstanding, family vacations and managing stress. Participants will leave encouraged with basic principles and numerous practical ideas about how to enjoy more victories and deeper graces despite the reality of weaknesses in every family. 

Presenters: Lisa Jamieson, Erin Jamieson, Alex Jamieson
Theme Verse:  2 CORINTHIANS 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

Lisa Jamieson is a national speaker, author, consultant and advocate who serves as Executive Director of Walk Right In Ministries and leads Minnesota’s Disability Ministry Connection. Her books include Finding Glory in the Thorns and Living Your Glory Story. She is also creator of the Finding Glory small group curriculum, a favorite of caregivers and others wanting Christ-centered discussion through challenges. Lisa and husband Larry have three adult daughters. Her daughter, Carly, has Angelman Syndrome and lives at home. Their story has been featured on Words to Live By, 100 Huntley Street and My Refuge Radio Belize. 

Alex Jamieson is a senior audit assistant at Deloitte (Minneapolis). Active in her church and as a community soccer coach, Alex also volunteers with Walk Right In Ministries as an occasional speaker and regular encourager to families experiencing special needs. She is the oldest sibling to a sister who has Angelman Syndrome. During her high school years, Alex worked as a personal care assistant and has since become a strong advocate for her sister Carly and others who experience disabilities. In her blog “Authentically Alex,” she reflects on a range of topics from setting goals to dealing with life’s transitions. 

Erin Jamieson is a singer-songwriter and worship leader. Her songwriting, blogging, and speaking is often inspired by challenges and insights experienced growing up in a family affected by disability. The title cut from her debut EP Without the Dark is featured in the movie Season of Miracles about a baseball player with autism. Erin is a senior at Belmont University in Nashville where she recently performed in the 2017 Christian Showcase. Her latest release No Dream Too Big is available on NoiseTrade. Erin’s youngest sister has Angelman Syndrome.

Please share about this conference with your own friends, family and church leaders. You can forward this post and share the link on social media.

Thank you - we hope to see you there!

Whole-Hearted Engagement With Those Who Suffer Isn't Optional

Loving and praying for each other is not optional and scripture doesn't leave room for anything but whole-hearted engagement with people who are suffering. True, it can be overwhelming, scary and messy learning to engage in the lives of others when their needs are  complex (e.g., disability, mental illness, aging, traumatic injury, chronic illness). But people with atypical lives are not a liability to the church. They are what enrich the church! 

No situation is too big or too complicated for God.

Share HOPE for Christmas

SHOP AT AMAZON

Delightful Opportunity for Dance Studios & Special Needs Families Nationwide

Do you know a child with special needs who would jump, twirl, bounce and hum at the chance to be part of a dance class? Darby’s Dancers is a wonderful new adapted dance program (non-profit based in Alabama) that has been growing rapidly nationwide. My daughter, Carly (with Angelman Syndrome, del+) has been in the program for 3 years and loves it!  Classes and costumes are FREE to students with special needs and each student is paired with a volunteer coach-helper.

I have come to know the founder of the program quite well and have offered to help her get the word out to others. Here's her greatest challenge:

In signing up new studios to host Darby's Dancers programs, they are finding that studios are very eager to support the concept but apprehensive about whether they will get enough students to fill their class(es). For example, right now Darby's Dancers has two studio owners on the brink of signing — one from GRAND RAPIDS, MI and the other in MADISON, WI.

There is no question in my mind that lots of families want this type of program. It is just a matter of getting the word out. And as I know all too well, non-profits have limited budget for marketing. So we need to rally the word-of-mouth troops — and that's YOU. Please help spread the word about this fantastic opportunity! Studio owners and the Darby's Dancers team want to connect with parents of children who have special needs and organizations who serve them. These connections help them get the word out and build confidence with potential host studios that there will be enough interest.

Anyone interested in having a child participate and studio owners wanting to know more about offering classroom space should contact Valerie Jones darbysdancers@yahoo.com.
http://www.darbysdancers.com

About Darby's Dancers

12News Story about Darby's Dancers

One Father's Desperation Holds Urgent Lesson for Us All

These comments from July 25, 2015 warrant reposting today.

The Angelman Syndrome community worldwide has been reeling this week -- experiencing a horrifying, heartbreaking loss. Never before has my passion been greater that caregivers need support, encouragement, a place for resonance, an adequate rhythm of respite and the kind of hope and strength that only Jesus Christ can give. 

Take a moment to read/watch the full news story (July 23, 2015). Click here: "Facing changes to the respite care situation for his 16 year old son, a father took his son to an area park and killed him" and then killed himself.

I'll never be able to thank enough the many people that have poured into our family so that we can thrive amidst the 24/7 weight of "extreme caregiving." Some seasons have been better than others but there's no denying that the way people have come alongside to support us is remarkable. (It should not be remarkable. It should be commonplace for all of us to have enough compassion and margin in our lives to reach out to others who are so stretched.) 

While I can't fathom taking the kind of action this dad took, Larry and I (as well as our oldest children Alex and Erin) all know too well the kind of desperation that can be felt behind closed doors when things like difficult behaviors, seizures, diaper catastrophes, cyclic reflux vomiting or sleep deprivation have taken us to our wits end. My heart aches and a sense of nausea wells in me when I consider so many friends who struggle daily with deep depression and/or sense of overwhelming loneliness/isolation caring for a loved one. 

Our culture doesn't value caregivers enough, doesn't pay respite staff enough (it's extraordinarily difficult even to find people willing to work this type of job at ANY rate of pay), doesn't encourage enough. Yet there are shining examples of progress. For example, the heart behind Caroline's Cart and practical value it is bringing to families is like a hug from God. 

We must pray for the reality of this need for community and outreach to sink in and fast. May all of us to value more highly our opportunities to encourage one another, lead lifestyles that prioritize time to support a weary friend and have courage to ask for help when we're struggling. May we create churches that go beyond just being welcoming places to becoming places that truly ENGAGE with these families, do more than just "be nice" and actually figure out how to carry another's burden. 

Lord, help us all. 

When Graduation SHRINKS Rather than EXPANDS a Young Person's World

Spring is here in all it's glory and the greens seem more vibrant to me than ever before. I hope you're seeing opportunities to soak up the refreshment of this new season!

Our daughter Carly turned 18 years old this past weekend. And she'll graduate from high school in just three weeks. For Carly this is a dramatically new 'season' and you might be surprised that there are some very unsettling things about this for her dad and me—things that are causing us some grief. I hope you won't mind that I share some personal reflections about it here because I believe God has something to say about this to each and every one who is reading today. 

As other students head off to college, explore new jobs or take a 'gap' year to discover their true passions, Carly will begin a transition program a few miles from home in a building filled with several other young adults who, like her, experience significant developmental disabilities. While there will be plenty of important and enjoyable activities, a skilled and caring staff, and new friends among her classmates, there will be no typical students in that building. None. Unlike high school where Carly participated in the mainstream choir class and walked halls with typical teens, she will now be more isolated from 'normal' society than she has ever been before. Occasional school outings to places like the grocery store (to learn money skills), some family activities and church attendance will be the extent of her exposure the 'outside' world.

Typical high school graduates are seeing the world open up before them; opportunities and relationships are blossoming. But for Carly, becoming an adult and finishing high school means that life will be changing in very different ways. In contrast to Carly's peer experiences, her world is in high risk of shrinking. Unless somebody thinks creatively and takes initiative on her behalf, Carly's opportunities and relationships will immediately start narrowing after her last day of high school.

Carly is highly social. Yet she is fully dependent on others to bring her places and help translate her efforts to communicate and engage with others. Her social connections will continue to narrow unless her caregivers, church and community are intentional about optimizing connectedness for her. Carly also has gifts to share with her church and community. Yet she is fully dependent on others to make room for her and assist her in plugging in. Unfortunately, I see a world that is too naïve to notice and too busy to join us in exploring and embracing the possibilities. So I'm praying for a culture change. I'm also praying that God would give me fresh energy and vision to see the opportunities for Carly (and others like her) and show me how to facilitate connections and belonging for her in a world that doesn't really understand what God has said:

“Those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts we think are less honorable we treat with special honor." 1 Corinthians 12:22-23  

"God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another." 1 Peter 4:10  

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these'" Matthew 19:14

How about you?

Have you noticed any adults in your congregation who have disabilities? If you have, you might praise God for the caregiver or group home staff who have been willing and energized enough to initiate that outing! You can greet these friends — BOTH the caregiver and the resident. You can thank group home staff for their supportiveness. You can greet these friends and ask questions about their day as you would with any other friend. The few moments you spend chatting with them may be among the very few 'outside world' interactions they have all week.

How can you help adults with special needs in your congregation find ways to serve and increase their sense of belonging in the community? The church is not complete without these friends. More than just being friendly with each other, we must think of each other as ministry partners and invest in helping each other share in the life of the church and in life with Christ.

Does it cross your mind that there are numerous adults in your community who are invisible to you? Perhaps they are there and you just aren't paying attention. Perhaps they are not there because nobody has made a place for them. There are a range of obstacles that keep people with special needs from attending church. Although building accessibility and transportation can be challenges, the more frequent issue is emotional. None of us wants to keep going where we aren't noticed, cared about or feel like we belong.

Who gets to decide whether my daughter's life is worth fighting for?

I heard some alarming but empowering news last week during a meeting of the Twin Cities Disability Ministry Connection. Prenatal Partners for Life founder Mary Kellett explained the dangers and opportunities involved with healthcare policies that threaten the very lives of people like my daughter Carly.

You see, Carly has Angelman Syndrome so some people believe her to be a burden on society. Because she is cognitively and developmentally challenged, her life is considered by some to have less value than mine. While I've been well aware of this fact, I was rather naive about how that could impact the care she receives when she is hospitalized. But then I read Bella's Gift by Rick and Karen Santorum earlier this year. And then I heard Mary Kellett talk about how her son died. And WHY he died. Bear with me while I try to explain the issue here.

Many hospitals have policies granting themselves rights to decide when it is time to discontinue all treatments and “allow” a patient to die. Regardless of a patient or family’s right to make their own healthcare decisions, physicians and hospitals are being given the right to make “medical futility” decisions based on their own judgments about the value or quality of patients’ lives rather than the efficacy of specific treatments or therapies available. “These policies and laws have been crafted to shield physicians and hospitals from legal liability for hastening patients’ deaths,” according to the Human Life Alliance (HLA).

It is not just people with disabilities or special needs who are at risk.  Patients who have experienced serious medical crisis after things like gunshot wounds or motor vehicle accidents have also become vulnerable to the dangers of these policies. There are numerous cases reported where medical staff focused on the quality of a patient's life if he/she did recover instead of focusing on treatments and surgeries that would foster healing and recovery.

The HLA cautions, “before you or a loved one are admitted to any hospital, ask for a copy of the hospital’s ‘medical futility policy’” so that you are not caught unaware and unprepared.

Mary Kellett shares her powerful personal story about how these policies tragically impacted her family. You can read Mary’s testimony before the Minnesota legislature about Minnesota Senate bill SF2238, titled “Hospital Futility Policy Disclosure.” Although the bill passed the house and senate in 2012, it was voted down by the Governor at that time.

Let’s pray that bill will be successfully reintroduced in a future session!

In addition to asking to see a provider's policy, Mary encourages families, "you can invite your pastor or priest to attend a Care Coordination Meeting when significant life and care decisions are in the balance." Their presence gives a family comfort and confidence while conveying a powerful message about how the family values life as they advocate for a loved one.

To learn more about prolife healthcare issues, look for more information at the Human Life Alliance  and Hope Network.

Gear Up for Good Gifts

Thanksgiving, Christmas and a New Year are right around the corner. Days will be busy for most and lonely for some. Wherever we are on that spectrum, there is opportunity. I want to paint a picture of how we can give and receive life-lifting gifts this holiday season.

“And let our people learn to devote themselves to good works, 

so as to help cases of urgent need, and not be unfruitful." Titus 3:14

Do you remember how it felt when you were the kid who got picked last because you ran a little slower than the rest, weren't quick enough with your times tables or just weren't wearing the right color shirt that day?  How about that time when a sprained ankle kept you on the bench? Your mom made you go to the game saying, "you're still part of the team and need to show your support even if you can’t play!" Some part of you wanted to be there with your friends but another part would just rather have stayed home alone than be trapped on the sidelines unable to fully participate. 

The holiday season stirs very similar tensions for folks who are wrestling with something that is challenging or seems to differentiate them from the crowd.  Imagine these holiday scenarios:

You are the parent of a child with autism who has been invited to attend the family Thanksgiving. The atmosphere will create stress for your child — and so for you too. You anticipate being exhausted trying to manage your child’s disruptive behaviors. You will spend a lot of time on the periphery of the group watching other parents enjoying the freedom to relax in conversations and play traditional holiday games. You’ll probably spend the afternoon trying to help your child avoid a myriad of scene-causing possibilities from sensory overload to a toileting catastrophe or seizure.  Knowing you’ll get depressed and feel guilty for resenting others who will sip a drink and casually balance a full dinner plate in their lap, you consider staying home.

You have been having some difficulty remembering names and staying focused in conversations. It is frightening to go out in public. You aren’t comfortable speaking in case someone hears that you are struggling. You regret that you’ll miss seeing the grandchildren play but your mounting fears remind you that staying home feels safer.

You’d like to be with family for the upcoming holiday dinner but you don’t want to drag everyone down. You wish you could sit quietly on the couch just soaking up some of the joy around the room but you’ll feel pressure to participate and look happy. You suspect the family has wearied of your moods and just wants you to snap out of it. You feel misunderstood, unwanted and unsafe.

Going to church for the special holiday services has always been a joy for you but now it feels overwhelming. Seeing happy families reminds you of that loved one who won’t be with you this year. Unexpected moments of raw grief quickly spiral out of control. The last thing you want to do is draw attention, feel out of control or cast a shadow on someone else’s joy.

When Carly was first diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome, I suddenly found myself experiencing a paradox — surrounded by people who loved me yet feeling very alone. Some part of me knew these were not rational feelings. Yet I still encounter too many triggers for feelings of disappointment and isolation, especially during the holidays.  

Nobody likes to feel different, undervalued, isolated, last or lonely. Yet there is heartache and longing to feel included all around us. Whether you’re the one feeling sidelined during these holidays or someone who is enthusiastically gearing up for the celebrations, I hope you’ll pray for radar to recognize the Divine promises and opportunities.

4 Promises that Anchor and Encourage People

1.      Nobody is immune to trouble but we have hope.

Jesus said “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NLT)

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)

2.      God remains your most faithful advocate.

The Israelites continued to groan under their burden of slavery. They cried out for help, and their cry rose up to God. God heard their groaning, and he remembered his covenant promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He looked down on the people of Israel and knew it was time to act. Yes, I am aware of their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them.”  Exodus 2:23-25, 3:7-8 (NLT)

So Jesus told them this story: 4 “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. 6 When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away! Luke 15:3-7 (NLT)

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will.  Romans 8:26-27 (NLT)

3.      You are never alone.

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 1 Peter 5:6-10 (NLT)

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (NLT)

4.      When you suffer, God’s comfort will be multiplied to you and through you.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NLT)

5 Ways to Ease Someone’s Heartache During the Holidays

1. Notice someone who may be hurting — Reassure someone who feels isolated that they are not invisible. Let a simple word or act of kindness speak clearly that people matter to you and to God. “Tithe” a few moments of each day to send a kind email or hand-written note, make a phone call, do an act of service or give a grocery/gas card. While you’re out in the community, be intentional and generous with your eye contact and a smile.
2. Just BE — Come over and hang out next to someone (whether it’s across the room or across town). You don’t have to know what to say. Resist pulling back from relationships that feel awkward or too complicated. Your presence ministers so much more than you know.
3. Listen first, then listen some more — Ask what somebody is thinking, feeling or wanting. Take time to understand what the person is experiencing and, without analyzing or judging them, learn how they are coping with life’s challenges.
4. Remind someone of God’s sure promise — Share one of the examples above or describe one of God’s promises that has been tangible for you recently.
5. Express appreciation and affirmation — Thank people for sharing their heart with you, for helping you learn something, or for coming to the party even though it was hard. Let someone know that their patient endurance through hardship inspires you. Tell a caregiver that they are doing a good, important and beautiful work.

Have you believed the lie that you are too busy to be used by God in sharing someone’s burden this holiday season? Or are you someone who is feeling too stuck or too broken to experience God’s touch? 

Here’s the truth:

God will generously provide all you need.

Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. 

2 Corinthians 9:8 (NLT)

Let’s remember together that we live and move and have our being by the grace and power of God, not ourselves (lest we might boast about it). 

What wonderful inspiration and opportunity to carry us through these holidays and into a new year!

Jamieson's "Toughest Struggles" Interview Re-Airs

A couple of years ago, Larry and I were invited to do an interview with WORDS TO LIVE BY RADIO. We shared about how we experienced God in the early years of Carly's life when disability was devastatingly new and we struggled to ask for help so Carly might thrive. That episode is re-airing again this coming weekend, Saturday and Sunday, September 13 & 14. 

I hope it's encouraging to you. Please join us in praying that God will use this once again to reach into things like broken heartedness, hopelessness and loneliness. 

To learn where you can hear the interview on a station in your area, call 616-974-2210 with your zip code handy or just visit this link — http://words.net/2010/06/04/finding-hope-in-one-of-life’s-toughest-struggles-–-larry-lisa’s-story/

For more of the story about those early years, read Finding Glory in the Thorns — the book about how Carly, her family and the community surrounding them experienced love, hope and unexpected miracles in the midst of shared struggles.  Finding Glory in the Thorns and the small group curriculum Finding Glory Group Discussion Guide are both available at the Walk Right In Ministries store and Amazon. Finding Glory in the Thorns is also available for your eReader on Kindle, Nook and iBook (Apple).  

Angela's Glory Story

(Above) Lukas — 2009

This Glory Story was originally posted in the spring of 2009 at www.findingglory.com and appears today with a marvelous update at the end. 

I would like to share my story with you about what "getting out of a comfort zone" (taking a step of faith in Jesus) looked like for me and my husband, James. 

My husband and I started dating in July of '98 and were quickly married in June of '99. It was quick but when you know, you know. We tried for years to have kids and with no luck. We even tried fertility and still no baby. Well, life changed for us drastically in June of 2005. We learned that my husband had a child out there from a prior relationship before we met. He never knew about this child and this really was a shock to both of us. There were moments for me of confusion, anger and sadness that I was not going to give him his first child. 

We went through the motions required to determine if this child was actually his. The day before Fathers Day we learned that James was indeed 99.99% the father of a little boy (7). He was actually born 3 months before we started dating. 

We were determined to make sure that we would be part of this child's life since we finally knew about him. We still were not prepared for what would lie ahead of us.  

We finally got to meet this precious boy (Lukas) to find that he was wheelchair-bound, non-verbal, drinking out of a bottle, not able to feed himself, mentally about 18 months and had many behaviors. But, oh boy, did he have a heart of gold and the smile to light up the world.  

Okay, so now we had found out about this boy and then learned he has special needs. What a shock!! There was no diagnois at this time. The mother was not actively trying to find one nor was she taking him to any type of therapy, relying completely on the school system to provide his care.  

We immedaitely starting having Lukas over every weekend and as often as we could. We wanted to build a relationship with him and see how we could improve his quality of life. There were so many unanswered questions and the mother was not cooperative. After many doctor appointments we learned that he was being abused at home and not getting quality care.   

We were successful in gaining custody and he came to live with us full time on June 23rd, 2006.  In the first two and a half years of having Lukas in our home he was able to walk, grew to functioning mentally at about 3 years old, was less combative, started drinking out of a cup and feeding himself, began playing with toys and was beginning to use a communication device to talk with us. We enjoyed wonderful moments with his smiles, hugs, and loving spirit. We also received a diagnosis. We found out in early 2008 that he has Angelman Syndrome with the deletion of the UBE3A gene.   

We prayed for children and our wish was granted — though not in the manner we thought would happen!  

God has a plan. I believe that with everything that I am. We are so blessed to have this little boy. It's not easy. Our support system is extremely small. Date nights do not happen. We spent many years married with no kids and the ability to do anything together. This has been a drastic change for us. But, we would not give it up for anything. Our faith has helped us through this time. I think that most marriages would not have made it through this.  

We were shaken out of our comfort zone, that is for sure. But, God is good. We have a wonderful child in our home who is thriving and improving each and every day!

MARVELOUS UPDATE:  
Angela originally shared this story in 2009. Since that time, Lukas has made ongoing and encouraging developmental progress while the family has continued bonding and growing together. Angela gave birth to Lukas' little brother Brody in May 2012. 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  James 1:17

May we never stop being amazed by how creatively and beautifully God reveals His presence, power and goodness in our lives!

(Above) Lukas and his little brother Brody — November 2012

Let's Get Real!

My book Living Your Glory Story releases next week and I’m so excited to be part of getting this message out because we’re giving voice to the marvelous activities of God. This is a book about rising above the noise of our culture and getting real about how we’re encountering (sometimes even struggling to encounter) God.

Glory Stories are the experiences we live and talk about that point to the power, presence and goodness of God.  We all have them.

Sometimes our Glory Story is the statement of a single sentence. Other times it’s a conversation shared over coffee. Hopefully, our Glory Stories are also told in the way we live out our lives day in and day out.  In any case, Glory Stories highlight the power, presence and goodness of the Divine. God is the feature. We are the context.

This isn’t a book about evangelism, although there can be an evangelistic result. This isn’t a book that suggests telling a Glory Story is easy, but it does acknowledge that it’s necessary and we make it harder than it needs to be.  There are too many great reasons for Christ-loving people to be talking about how real and near and powerful God is today. 

There have been occasions when listening to other’s Glory Stories powerfully served to bolster and enrich my faith. Ever since our daughter was diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome, hearing about God’s goodness and sovereignty in disability from other parents who have “walked in my shoes” has been life-giving and reminds me that I’m never alone despite feeling very isolated sometimes.

Living Your Glory Story is also a book about friendship. I’m excited because I believe it will serve to deepen and strengthen many relationships and marriages. I dedicated the book to the memory of my dear friend Jennifer Kreykes who became my neighbor when I was 3 years old. She remained one of my closest friends until cancer took her in our early thirties.

Jennifer & Lisa, 1981

Jennifer and I started out as preschool playmates who grew into penpals and teenagers at the piano singing Amy Grant songs like “Tender Tennessee Christmases” and the “Arms of Love.” She wrote poems, I wrote songs and we both wrote dozens of letters. Together, we explored young faith and encouraged each other in how God was speaking even before either of us really understood the tangibility of His voice.

Then our faith unexpectedly and almost simultaneously grew more firmly rooted in our deep affection for Jesus through adversity hard-fought in the terrors of cancer and disability. Little did either of us know what a harvest of faith would grow out of those too few years together.

Jennifer lived the Glory Story and greatly enhanced my vision for how to live it. She inspired me to cling to God’s Word and let my Light shine. She proved to me that it is not the length of a friendship that matters but whether, through that friendship, we take each other to the feet of Jesus.

Living Your Glory Story is a quick-read (only 64 pages) but, I pray, jam-packed with encouragement and empowerment for you. 

In writing this book, I had one single aim — to get us all out there living and sharing our stories in ways that make life together more fulfilling and God better known.

I hope you enjoy it!

Order at Walk Right In Ministries or find Living Your Glory Story on Amazon.

Please pray with me that this book contributes to a revival of intimacy with the Father and deepened passions to share that with others!